Housewarming gifts ideas
November 20th, 2008
Housewarming gifts ideas
Vintage Vinyl LP Record Coasters - Set of 6
Designer Jeff Davis has put another spin on recycling by rescuing vintage LPs and creating them into very cool coaster sets! Each coaster is created from an actual vinyl LP records and have the original label intact. The coasters are protected from moisture with a clear mylar seal. Each set includes a clear case and 6 coasters in a wide variety of artists/bands/music styles with a range of diverse label colors. Diameter of each coaster is 4". Made in the USA.
Kitchen: Created from actual vinyl LP records with the original labels intact, Protected with a clear mylar seal, Each set includes 6 coasters in a wide range of artists/bands/music styles/genres, Made in the USA, Gift Wrap available at checkout
Company: Modern Artisans
List Price:
Amazon Price: $17.99
(more...)
Designer Jeff Davis has put another spin on recycling by rescuing vintage LPs and creating them into very cool coaster sets! Each coaster is created from an actual vinyl LP records and have the original label intact. The coasters are protected from moisture with a clear mylar seal. Each set includes a clear case and 6 coasters in a wide variety of artists/bands/music styles with a range of diverse label colors. Diameter of each coaster is 4". Made in the USA.Kitchen: Created from actual vinyl LP records with the original labels intact, Protected with a clear mylar seal, Each set includes 6 coasters in a wide range of artists/bands/music styles/genres, Made in the USA, Gift Wrap available at checkout
Company: Modern Artisans
List Price:
Amazon Price: $17.99
(more...)
Camper Birdhouse Trailer Bird House Airstream Rv Home Decor Yard Garden Porch Patio Birdfeeder Feeder Country
Give your feathered friends a "tweet" place to eat! This adorable birdhouse is reminiscent of the old classic Airstream Campers. It's bright striped awnings and red door make it a cozy retreat. A posted sign announces "Trailer For Sale or Rent." Made of resin. Measures 8.5"L x 4.5"W x 5"H and comes with a 9" wire for quick hanging. Great for your backyard or to take along with you as you set up camp on your own travels. A must have for the RV'er or road warrior!
: Fun accent piece for your yard or garden!, Ready to hang- comes with everything you need but food!, Perfect gift for the traveler!
Company: OTC
List Price: $29.99
Amazon Price: $25.50
(more...)
Give your feathered friends a "tweet" place to eat! This adorable birdhouse is reminiscent of the old classic Airstream Campers. It's bright striped awnings and red door make it a cozy retreat. A posted sign announces "Trailer For Sale or Rent." Made of resin. Measures 8.5"L x 4.5"W x 5"H and comes with a 9" wire for quick hanging. Great for your backyard or to take along with you as you set up camp on your own travels. A must have for the RV'er or road warrior!: Fun accent piece for your yard or garden!, Ready to hang- comes with everything you need but food!, Perfect gift for the traveler!
Company: OTC
List Price: $29.99
Amazon Price: $25.50
(more...)
Unique Asian Décor - 14" Japanese Style Wood & Paper Shoji Lantern Oriental Lamp w/ Art Design
Attractive variation of traditional Japanese shoji lantern, with beautiful oriental brush art theme, UL approved wiring, socket & switch for 25 Watt bulb, traditional gift for holidays and birthdays, as well as new ventures, such as wedding, new business, or housewarming. Ships in 48hrs from Massachusetts via FedEx, expedited delivery available.
Kitchen: 14" Tall x 7" Square - 3 Art Motifs - Choose Pine & Cranes, Birds & Flowers, or Landscape, Beautifully Crafted Kiln Dried Scandinavian Spruce - Fiber Reinforced Pressed Pulp Rice Paper Shade, Adds Subtle Eastern Charm - Casts Warm Diffused Light in Living Room, Bedroom or Study, UL Approved Wiring, Socket & Switch for 25 W Bulb - Great Gift for Holiday, Birthday, or New Venture, Ships in 48 Hours Pro. Packed & Insured from Massachusetts via FedEx - Expedited Delivery Available
Company: Oriental Furniture
List Price:
Amazon Price:
(more...)
Attractive variation of traditional Japanese shoji lantern, with beautiful oriental brush art theme, UL approved wiring, socket & switch for 25 Watt bulb, traditional gift for holidays and birthdays, as well as new ventures, such as wedding, new business, or housewarming. Ships in 48hrs from Massachusetts via FedEx, expedited delivery available.Kitchen: 14" Tall x 7" Square - 3 Art Motifs - Choose Pine & Cranes, Birds & Flowers, or Landscape, Beautifully Crafted Kiln Dried Scandinavian Spruce - Fiber Reinforced Pressed Pulp Rice Paper Shade, Adds Subtle Eastern Charm - Casts Warm Diffused Light in Living Room, Bedroom or Study, UL Approved Wiring, Socket & Switch for 25 W Bulb - Great Gift for Holiday, Birthday, or New Venture, Ships in 48 Hours Pro. Packed & Insured from Massachusetts via FedEx - Expedited Delivery Available
Company: Oriental Furniture
List Price:
Amazon Price:
(more...)
Asian Furniture & Decor- 21" Chinese Yellow Porcelain Vase Oriental Desk Lamp w/ Birds & Flowers
One of a collection of over 300 extraordinary, hand crafted, decorative oriental lamps- classic sizes & designs, perfect next to the sofa or chair, desk tops, hallway or foyer, or on the nightstand next to the bed. Before trade ties with China in the 1970's, oriental lamps sold at antique stores and auctions houses for thousands of dollars, and beautified the decor of mostly European capitals & coastal cities in the US & Canada. Now these stunning lamps are carefully assembled in Jiangxu province, mainland China, imported to New York city, and shipped direct to customers all over the US. All are built to United States electric standards & specifications, with UL (Underwriter's Laboratories) certified wiring, sockets, and switch, for standard or 3 way bulbs bulbs, or CFBs (compact flourecent bulbs). The stunning designs are conversions of beautiful, fine quality vessels- tea caddys, flower vases, spice jars, even reliquary urns - some vitreous porcelain, lacquered wood, or heavy cast bronze & carved jade. All include the unique decorative finials, stands (bases), brass harps, and fine fabric lamp shades as shown- ready to go out of the box, bulbs not included. Visit our Oriental Furniture Amazon store front for 150 high end oriental lamps, over 50 discount oriental lamps, and over 40 designs of Japanese style electricfied wood & paper lanterns. We offer the web's largest selection of Japanese shoji screens, as well as beautiful hand painted wall art, handcrafted wood furniture, and unique Asian gifts!
Kitchen: 21"H x 13"W - Fine Jiangxi High Temperature Porcelain w/ Hand Painted Design, Extraordinary Classic Oriental Table Lamps - Fine Fabric Piped Seam Shade Included as Shown, Hand Carved Dark Stain Hardwood Base - Lovely Decorative Finial, UL Approved Wiring, Socket, & Switch - 3 Way Switch for 3 Way Bulb - 100 W Maximum, Ships Professionally Packed & Insured from NYC, USA - Allow 7-10 Days - Continental US Only
Company: Oriental Furniture
List Price: $329.95
Amazon Price: $92.29
(more...)
One of a collection of over 300 extraordinary, hand crafted, decorative oriental lamps- classic sizes & designs, perfect next to the sofa or chair, desk tops, hallway or foyer, or on the nightstand next to the bed. Before trade ties with China in the 1970's, oriental lamps sold at antique stores and auctions houses for thousands of dollars, and beautified the decor of mostly European capitals & coastal cities in the US & Canada. Now these stunning lamps are carefully assembled in Jiangxu province, mainland China, imported to New York city, and shipped direct to customers all over the US. All are built to United States electric standards & specifications, with UL (Underwriter's Laboratories) certified wiring, sockets, and switch, for standard or 3 way bulbs bulbs, or CFBs (compact flourecent bulbs). The stunning designs are conversions of beautiful, fine quality vessels- tea caddys, flower vases, spice jars, even reliquary urns - some vitreous porcelain, lacquered wood, or heavy cast bronze & carved jade. All include the unique decorative finials, stands (bases), brass harps, and fine fabric lamp shades as shown- ready to go out of the box, bulbs not included. Visit our Oriental Furniture Amazon store front for 150 high end oriental lamps, over 50 discount oriental lamps, and over 40 designs of Japanese style electricfied wood & paper lanterns. We offer the web's largest selection of Japanese shoji screens, as well as beautiful hand painted wall art, handcrafted wood furniture, and unique Asian gifts!Kitchen: 21"H x 13"W - Fine Jiangxi High Temperature Porcelain w/ Hand Painted Design, Extraordinary Classic Oriental Table Lamps - Fine Fabric Piped Seam Shade Included as Shown, Hand Carved Dark Stain Hardwood Base - Lovely Decorative Finial, UL Approved Wiring, Socket, & Switch - 3 Way Switch for 3 Way Bulb - 100 W Maximum, Ships Professionally Packed & Insured from NYC, USA - Allow 7-10 Days - Continental US Only
Company: Oriental Furniture
List Price: $329.95
Amazon Price: $92.29
(more...)
Asian Furniture & Décor - 12" Chinese Ming Blue & White Porcelain Oriental Teapot Desk Lamp
One of a collection of over 300 extraordinary, hand crafted, decorative oriental lamps- classic sizes & designs, perfect next to the sofa or chair, desk tops, hallway or foyer, or on the nightstand next to the bed. Before trade ties with China in the 1970's, oriental lamps sold at antique stores and auctions houses for thousands of dollars, and beautified the decor of mostly European capitals & coastal cities in the US & Canada. Now these stunning lamps are carefully assembled in Jiangxu province, mainland China, imported to New York city, and shipped direct to customers all over the US. All are built to United States electric standards & specifications, with UL (Underwriter's Laboratories) certified wiring, sockets, and switch, for standard or 3 way bulbs bulbs, or CFBs (compact flourecent bulbs). The stunning designs are conversions of beautiful, fine quality vessels- tea caddys, flower vases, spice jars, even reliquary urns - some vitreous porcelain, lacquered wood, or heavy cast bronze & carved jade. All include the unique decorative finials, stands (bases), brass harps, and fine fabric lamp shades as shown- ready to go out of the box, bulbs not included. Visit our Oriental Furniture Amazon store front for 150 high end oriental lamps, over 50 discount oriental lamps, and over 40 designs of Japanese style electricfied wood & paper lanterns. We offer the web's largest selection of Japanese shoji screens, as well as beautiful hand painted wall art, handcrafted wood furniture, and unique Asian gifts!
Kitchen: 12"H x 7"W - Compliments Elegant Formal & Modern Eclectic Décor - Great for Home or Office, Fine Jiangxi High Temperature Porcelain Teapot Body w/ Hand Painted Floral Design, Piped Seam 'Fine Fabric Shade Included as Shown - Dark Stain Carved Hardwood Base, UL Approved Wiring, Socket, & Switch - 2 Way Switch for 2 Way Bulb - 40w Maximum, Ships Professionally Packed & Insured from NYC, USA - Allow 7-10 Days - Continental US Only
Company: Oriental Furniture
List Price: $269.95
Amazon Price: $65.00
(more...)
One of a collection of over 300 extraordinary, hand crafted, decorative oriental lamps- classic sizes & designs, perfect next to the sofa or chair, desk tops, hallway or foyer, or on the nightstand next to the bed. Before trade ties with China in the 1970's, oriental lamps sold at antique stores and auctions houses for thousands of dollars, and beautified the decor of mostly European capitals & coastal cities in the US & Canada. Now these stunning lamps are carefully assembled in Jiangxu province, mainland China, imported to New York city, and shipped direct to customers all over the US. All are built to United States electric standards & specifications, with UL (Underwriter's Laboratories) certified wiring, sockets, and switch, for standard or 3 way bulbs bulbs, or CFBs (compact flourecent bulbs). The stunning designs are conversions of beautiful, fine quality vessels- tea caddys, flower vases, spice jars, even reliquary urns - some vitreous porcelain, lacquered wood, or heavy cast bronze & carved jade. All include the unique decorative finials, stands (bases), brass harps, and fine fabric lamp shades as shown- ready to go out of the box, bulbs not included. Visit our Oriental Furniture Amazon store front for 150 high end oriental lamps, over 50 discount oriental lamps, and over 40 designs of Japanese style electricfied wood & paper lanterns. We offer the web's largest selection of Japanese shoji screens, as well as beautiful hand painted wall art, handcrafted wood furniture, and unique Asian gifts!Kitchen: 12"H x 7"W - Compliments Elegant Formal & Modern Eclectic Décor - Great for Home or Office, Fine Jiangxi High Temperature Porcelain Teapot Body w/ Hand Painted Floral Design, Piped Seam 'Fine Fabric Shade Included as Shown - Dark Stain Carved Hardwood Base, UL Approved Wiring, Socket, & Switch - 2 Way Switch for 2 Way Bulb - 40w Maximum, Ships Professionally Packed & Insured from NYC, USA - Allow 7-10 Days - Continental US Only
Company: Oriental Furniture
List Price: $269.95
Amazon Price: $65.00
(more...)
House Warming Gift Ideas, Housewarming Gifts - FindGift.com
Find house warming gift ideas. FindGift.com is a free service dedicated to helping people find gift ideas. (more...)
Personalized Gifts - Housewarming Gift Ideas - Gifts.com
Visit Gifts.com to find Housewarming gifts from the best stores on the Web. Our Gift Gurus hand-pick and recommend unique Housewarming gift ideas based on a recipient's age and ... (more...)
Housewarming Gift Ideas: Continued
Here are our favorite, and not so favorite gift ideas for housewarmings. ... About Interior Decorating Subscribe to the Free Newsletter Your Email Address: (more...)
Gifts for First Home - Housewarming Gift Ideas - Gifts.com
Visit Gifts.com to find Housewarming gifts from the best stores on the Web. Our Gift Gurus hand-pick and recommend unique Housewarming gift ideas based on a recipient's age and ... (more...)
Housewarming - Gift Ideas From Gifts.com
Find gifts and unique gift ideas for housewarming. At Gifts.com our gift experts search the web to bring you great gift ideas by recipient, holiday and more. Search for ... (more...)
Open Question: whats a good idea for a housewarming gift?
my friend is moving into an apt , her first real move with her hubby and pregnant belly. Im sure her mom gave her alot of stuff, any ideas whats good, something unique but practical.
(more...)
Open Question: Christmas Shopping: Please can you help me?
I am trying to get a jump-start on buying my christmas gifts for everyone, but I'm having issues on what to get people. I don't have a tight budget, but I cannot spend over like $300 for everyone's combined. I'll describe as much what each one likes...Here's a list of the people I need to buy for.
My Mom and Dad: I wanted to get a joint gift, like maybe a gift basket. I was going to get them a gift certificate for the movie theater and a restaurant for like a date night, but I also wanted to include a couple of small things in there with them. My dad is an avid motorcycle and football fan. My mom is into candles, orderliness, a lot of tv shows, but doesnt necessarily have anything that she's REALLY into. Both of them aren't too fond of technology. They are pretty tech-illiterate. Maybe help me find a couple extra little things to put in their basket?
My sister: She's really into photography and her friends. She runs cross-country and is pretty sportsy...She likes partying with booze a little too much (shes 22). But shes not really that into movies or televsion or any kind of games.
My Boyfriend/Fiance(22): He is really into video games, especially guitar hero and rockband, but those are way too expensive for me to buy right now. Loves Metallica, playing guitar, and the whole motorcycle/biker thing. He's a die-hard football fan, and enjoys movies a lot. He also LOVES sweets and McDonald's. lol.
My best-friend/roommate(19):She is very into her video and computer games, such as SPORE and WOW. She also LOVES movies, the only thing I dont really know is what movies she doesnt have because she has soooooo many. She also has 4 cats, and loves them to death. She has mentioned wanting a new queen size bed set, but i cannot be buying a really expensive one, and Im not sure of where to buy one that stays in my budget.
Her boyfriend/my other roommate(30): From what I can tell, he really likes his alcohol. He is also a Cowboys fan, but unlike my boyfriend, does care about other things. He isn't so much into the games, but he does like his movies. Him and my bff are always saying how they never have time for going anywhere or doing anything because they have no car and do everything they need to do while staying in this small town.
My nephew(2 1/2): He's your typical little boy. He likes his toys, but he seems to have EVERYTHING! He has a lot of clothes and shoes, too. He likes Elmo, the backyardigans, finding nemo, etc. But I just do not know what new, cool things are out there for little toddlers right now.
My sister and bro-in-law: They are just moving into a new house... I am think of maybe getting them something for their new home ( kind of like a housewarming gift but im not sure what to get). Or I could also just get them a gift basket. But I dont know what to include in it except...They love movies. But they aren't too fond of games or any sport in particular. My bro-in-law is really into salt water fish and even has a 50 gallon aquarium....
My grandmother(67): She is your typical gram. I do not know what she would like to have at all. She doesnt really watch movieslone since she is a...She has a dog, and she only plays pogo. I dont ever know what to get her!
My fiance's family: I was thinking a gift basket for all of them, combined. But I do not know what I would include in it.
Ideas???
If its too long, I definitely understand. Maybe try to help me on ONE person, if not all??? Thanks. =)
(more...)
Resolved Question: Can you help me with some Christmas Gift ideas?
I am trying to get a jump-start on buying my christmas gifts for everyone, but I'm having issues on what to get people. I don't have a tight budget, but I cannot spend over like $300 for everyone's combined. I'll describe as much what each one likes...Here's a list of the people I need to buy for.
My Mom and Dad: I wanted to get a joint gift, like maybe a gift basket. I was going to get them a gift certificate for the movie theater and a restaurant for like a date night, but I also wanted to include a couple of small things in there with them. My dad is an avid motorcycle and football fan. My mom is into candles, orderliness, a lot of tv shows, but doesnt necessarily have anything that she's REALLY into. Both of them aren't too fond of technology. They are pretty tech-illiterate. Maybe help me find a couple extra little things to put in their basket?
My sister: She's really into photography and her friends. She runs cross-country and is pretty sportsy...She likes partying with booze a little too much (shes 22). But shes not really that into movies or televsion or any kind of games.
My Boyfriend/Fiance(22): He is really into video games, especially guitar hero and rockband, but those are way too expensive for me to buy right now. Loves Metallica, playing guitar, and the whole motorcycle/biker thing. He's a die-hard football fan, and enjoys movies a lot. He also LOVES sweets and McDonald's. lol.
My best-friend/roommate(19):She is very into her video and computer games, such as SPORE and WOW. She also LOVES movies, the only thing I dont really know is what movies she doesnt have because she has soooooo many. She also has 4 cats, and loves them to death. She has mentioned wanting a new queen size bed set, but i cannot be buying a really expensive one, and Im not sure of where to buy one that stays in my budget.
Her boyfriend/my other roommate(30): From what I can tell, he really likes his alcohol. He is also a Cowboys fan, but unlike my boyfriend, does care about other things. He isn't so much into the games, but he does like his movies. Him and my bff are always saying how they never have time for going anywhere or doing anything because they have no car and do everything they need to do while staying in this small town.
My nephew(2 1/2): He's your typical little boy. He likes his toys, but he seems to have EVERYTHING! He has a lot of clothes and shoes, too. He likes Elmo, the backyardigans, finding nemo, etc. But I just do not know what new, cool things are out there for little toddlers right now.
My sister and bro-in-law: They are just moving into a new house... I am think of maybe getting them something for their new home ( kind of like a housewarming gift but im not sure what to get). Or I could also just get them a gift basket. But I dont know what to include in it except...They love movies. But they aren't too fond of games or any sport in particular. My bro-in-law is really into salt water fish and even has a 50 gallon aquarium....
My grandmother(67): She is your typical gram. I do not know what she would like to have at all. She doesnt really watch movieslone since she is a...She has a dog, and she only plays pogo. I dont ever know what to get her!
My fiance's family: I was thinking a gift basket for all of them, combined. But I do not know what I would include in it.
Ideas??? Thanks a bunch.
If its too long, I definitely understand. Maybe try to help me on ONE person, if not all??? Thanks. =)
(more...)
Resolved Question: Poop And Farts Types and people types(joke)! Is it funny?
TYPES OF POOP!!!!
Ghost Poopie-the kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopi e in the toilet.
Clean Poopie-the kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie-the kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwipe d, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie-this happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled yo ur pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
Pop A Vein In Your Forehead Poopie-the kind where you strain so much to get it out you practically have a stroke.
Lincoln Log Poopie-the kind of poopie that is so huge that you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Gassey Poopie-it's so noisy that everyone within earshot is giggling.
Drinker Poopie-the kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Corn Poopie-self explanatory.
Gee I Wish I Could Poopie Poopie-the kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie-that's where it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)-the kind that comes out of your butt so fast , your cheeks get splashed with water.
Liquid Poopie-the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashed all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Food Poopie-it smells so bad your nose hurts.
Upper Class Poopie-the kind of poopie that does not smell.
Surprise Poopie-you're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but OOPS...A Poopie.
Dangling Poopie-the poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
TYPES OF FARTS!!!!
Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart
The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odor.
Eggy Fart
Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.
Windy Fart
The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.
Growling Fart
Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.
Worrying Fart
The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the next possible opportunity.
Prelude To A Poopie
You feel like you have got a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny squeaker fart, and the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.
Compost Fart
You know the compost heap that a gardener keeps at the bottom of the garden? Well if you jump on it you will have some idea of what a compost fart sounds and smells like. Do not attempt this one while you have company.
Beefy One
Sounds loud, and butch eg. 'BRAAAAMMPPP!' Will smell a bit like the rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dog-turd.
Present (a.k.a 'Time I Wasn't Here' Fart)
The type of fart which seems harmless, but then brings a small poopie as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet, and thank God you weren't in a business meeting when it happened. If you were in a business meeting of course, you're screwed.
Squeaky Fart
Sounds like 'Wheeek'. Normally smells foul.
Bunbuster Fart
'BRAAA!' Sounds like a Beefy one, except much more sudden and much much more powerful. Generally smells eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.
Trouser Ripping Special
Sends seismic ripples to the next city. Rips the back of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby at the time will suffer hearing loss.
Escape Pod Fart
You think you got away with this one. You forced it out as silently as possible, and nobody heard. You take deep sniffs through your nose, as discreetly as possible. You smell nothing but your deodorant. Then 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everyone starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.
Brewer Fart
You try to push a brewer fart the last furlong, but it stays firmly lodged deep within your bowels. You come to the conclusion that it is some form of gaseous landmark.
Sphinctal Napalm
Tends to occur a few hours after a hot
I did not start it with poopie thats the way i got it in the email...it made it funnier!
If it were me i would have used another word...
(more...)
Resolved Question: Is this funny???????????????????
TYPES OF FARTS!!!!
Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart
The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odor.
Eggy Fart
Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.
Windy Fart
The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.
Growling Fart
Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.
Worrying Fart
The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the next possible opportunity.
Prelude To A Poopie
You feel like you have got a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny squeaker fart, and the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.
Compost Fart
You know the compost heap that a gardener keeps at the bottom of the garden? Well if you jump on it you will have some idea of what a compost fart sounds and smells like. Do not attempt this one while you have company.
Beefy One
Sounds loud, and butch eg. 'BRAAAAMMPPP!' Will smell a bit like the rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dog-turd.
Present (a.k.a 'Time I Wasn't Here' Fart)
The type of fart which seems harmless, but then brings a small poopie as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet, and thank God you weren't in a business meeting when it happened. If you were in a business meeting of course, you're screwed.
Squeaky Fart
Sounds like 'Wheeek'. Normally smells foul.
Bunbuster Fart
'BRAAA!' Sounds like a Beefy one, except much more sudden and much much more powerful. Generally smells eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.
Trouser Ripping Special
Sends seismic ripples to the next city. Rips the back of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby at the time will suffer hearing loss.
Escape Pod Fart
You think you got away with this one. You forced it out as silently as possible, and nobody heard. You take deep sniffs through your nose, as discreetly as possible. You smell nothing but your deodorant. Then 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everyone starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.
Brewer Fart
You try to push a brewer fart the last furlong, but it stays firmly lodged deep within your bowels. You come to the conclusion that it is some form of gaseous landmark.
Sphinctal Napalm
Tends to occur a few hours after a hot curry. Nevermind the smell, worry about the burning sensation and the nasty stain you know it must have left.
Stalker Fart
Occurs when you leave the room to politely fart elsewhere, and save people the trouble of breathing your flatulent devils breath. You go back into the room, but LO! The foul nasal bombardment has followed you, and you are duly criticised for poor manners.
Burble Fart
Bubbly!
On The Spot Fart
You didn't even know it was there, but suddenly 'Brrmp'.
Not Now! (a.k.a Anal Control Fart)
You feel the presence of a mighty fart, and are unable to release it due to your situation. Happens on first dates, at important meetings, and on other such inexcusable occasions. You clench your buttocks together so hard that you nearly give yourself a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends on a number of factors, but Sods law tends to win out in the end.
Hydrated Flatulation (a.k.a Wet Fart)
The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants, and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. You might not like this little bugger, but you feel right at home with it.
GNL Fart
Gambled 'n' lost. You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but realize tragically that this is much more than a fart...
Underwater Fart
Often done in the bath, or while swimming. Sounds like the engine of a nuclear sub. Can be smelt on rising to the surface, and experienced windbreakers will often catch the fart in an upturned jam jar, in order to set light to them.
Gunshot Fart
Gunshot farts sound just like a gunshot. They are exceedingly rare. In fact they are so rare that most people don't know they even exist. One report continues: "I have only witnessed one gunshot fart myself, my own, and almost scared the poop out of my girlfriend who was lying asleep beside me at the time. She thought it was a gunshot, and it was so named." A few others have refered
(more...)